The day recorded on the calendar: When realms meet at the point of death, What do I wish for then?
People are the gift Nothing else will carry through - No ornament, or clutter kept Or pendant, medal on the wall No guilty stain, or shadow of regret.
Are words spoken in the libraries of time Stored for future viewing?
Will I move into forever with a spirit that I grew And watered, turned towards The hands of my Great Gardener For secret rendezvous of hearts combined?
Unfold each lesson from the offerings before me As a gift from wisdom to be learnt and to be sung.
Build into the spirit, listen for the steps ahead. Create beauty from the ashes Allow the stars to touch my soul.
Hold the hands of my dear children, Breathe into the space life makes For those who set aside what does not matter.
Look carefully into the eyes of others, Spend time with the people who are my treasure Instead of money on what cannot last for long.
Get rid of what can't satisfy, Be generous to the world at large.
Don't try to always understand what's going on.
Be one with my true self. Embrace the unknown - mystery must do its work. Turn over stones to see the smallness there.
Keep on peeling off the scales of all life throws Massage oils of forgiveness into my heart Dream and don't give up on dreaming, Live in the senses of the now.
When it comes time to pass on through, this is what I wish for: That eternity will not take me by surprise If I make friends with it This side.
Jenneth Graser
Sansui vintage Japanese scroll painting, Sage & Pine Tree Mountain
I wish to have the fragrance of your face
Linger in-between me,
As if I walk through your garden every morning
As if I live with the feel of Heaven
On my creases.
I wish to be one flesh with your life
At ease with the knowing of you
As you draw me magnetic
To the ever knowing
Ever unknowing.
I am awake in the middle of the night
With longing.
It must be that I caught a glimpse
Of your eyes in the dark.
Will you be this close in the morning?
I will be your friend;
I will be here for you when the first bird sings.
I will dip my feet in your river
With the baptism of first light
As the dawn-rise of another world
Blushes the time of mine, with eternity.
It is only a short while...
A blink in the scheme of things.
It is only a short while
Until I breathe you in, until
The first time I took a breath in this world
The first time I opened my eyes to see your face
The first time I held an autumn leaf, turning colours as it whirled to the ground
The first time I held your hand
The first time I saw the mountains of snow
And the first time I fell to the snow and made an angel
All that happiness spread out under my body.
The first time I dreamed and woke up remembering what I dreamed about
The first time I baked in the kitchen with Mom and laughed in the flour drifting
The first time we moved over seas and started up a whole new life
The first time I felt my heart twist with my first disappointment
The first time I cried in the rain and let it soak me, through.
The first time I felt your presence touch me so deep I knew you were real
The first time I climbed up the mountain and the sunset colours
Poured over us in the waterfall of clouds, orange, pink, gold.
There is a first time for everything.
And when I woke up this morning, I had that kind of First Time Feeling
That everything that feels old and stale, is going to have a chance
To feel First Time
Again.
On 25 December 2004 my husband Karl and I made our way on
ferry across gleaming waters to the paradise of Langkawi Island in
Malaysia.Christmas on honeymoon, on one
of the most glorious islands of the world!Little did we know that a mere 24 hours later the world would look so
different for so many when an earthquake hit Sumatra and sent shockwaves in the
form of very disturbed waters, in fact a frightening tsunami rushing towards
the coastlines of many nations.
We
went for a morning walk after breakfast on the morning of the 26 December, to
find a great recession of water and wandered around looking for shells thinking
this was some peculiar island low tide phenomenon.In the bliss of honeymoon, I found myself
totally forgetting the advice of a former geography teacher - to always run in
the opposite direction when you see a strange pulling back of the tides.Then the waves started coming in again from
the right and swirling around toward the left, turning over a jet-ski and
surging under a yacht that managed somehow to stay afloat.
It was then that we decided to rent a motorbike, to move onto
higher terrain and away from the uncertain waters.We rented a bike and headed off, but Karl stopped
along the way to see if we could dry off a poor drenched kitten affected by the
first set of waves.Then Karl panned the
video camera around and we saw a dark wave of water headed towards us.And we could see it was not going to stop at
the shore.
“Get on the bike!”
But we could not see the ignition which was tucked out of
sight as the hotel had started it for us!
“RUN! RUN!!!”
So Karl and I ran a short distance up a curved bridge and
watched as the water surged over the road, and under the bridge upriver, like a
river in flood, but in the wrong direction.We realised we would have been stuck in the water if we had not stopped
by the side of the road. And then the
sight of the muddy homes filled with water, the wrecked cars and damaged
property.But no loss of life that we
knew of on Langkawi Island.Little did
we know that a couple hundred kilometres north of us in Thailand, people by the
thousands were losing their lives.The
local paper showed the rising toll of deaths, but we remained strangely numb to
the reality of the facts.It was only
when we came back home and watched footage my Dad had recorded for us that the
tears began to flow.
When Christmas time comes with such tragedy, it reminds me
of the reeling shock of recent world events, so close to the celebration of our
Saviour’s birth.This can throw us into
confusion and dismay.We don’t know how
to process the horror of such uncontrollable events.
But the light that shines so brightly through the coming of
Jesus to earth, who was willing to suffer unimaginable pain for us and carry
the sufferings of the world, outweighs the greatest turmoil and puts us into a
place of perspective once again.The
question is, how do we shine the light of hope into a world disorientated by
such uncertainty?How do we shine this
light into so many great and diverse needs?
Friends of ours, Don and Margie Cook, began an organisation
called Hands on Houses (www.handsonhouses.com) to build homes for the very poor,
widows and disabled people in coastal villages of South India. They have been there for 8 ½ years and
have built 131 houses with a small team of 4 and then 12 local men.Margie and Don are planning on starting Hands
on Houses in Malawi too, hopefully in 2016, and are currently waiting on
donations to make this a possibility.
The inspiration of this couple shows me how it is possible
to take the light of Christ and make it a reality to so many in need of light.How Jesus causes resurrection and rebirth to
take place through ordinary people like you and me, so that other ordinary
people can experience these miracles too.People whose lives turn around by acts of mercy, acts of kindness.Widows and disabled people who have never
heard of the love of Jesus, now see it demonstrated through hands of love and
action that bring them a new hope for life and a complete turnabout of destiny.
But how do we see the afflicted in our own
neighbourhoods?When we can’t be with
people who have been affected by these disasters around the world in a physical
way, we can look to see the people God places in our day to day life and shine
our light of hope and possibility, right here and now - in our churches, our
workplaces, our families, our communities.And we can listen for the prompting of the Holy Spirit about where to
reach out with the loving action of God’s compassionate grace.
Our church is neighbours with a township called Vrygrond, a
community of many mostly African nations all gathered into one place.Some other inspiring friends of ours, Anton
and Elana Cuyler, left England where they had been living for some time, and
came back to their homeland trusting that God would show them what to do when
they got here.They felt to come to
Muizenberg, and were led to the Bay Community church.Incrementally over the past number of years,
God has opened door after door and led them step by step to reach into the
Vrygrond community with hope, love and empowering action. http://thesozofoundation.org.za/our-story/.
The miracle of the Sozo Foundation is
bringing hope to people with often fewer options in life, opening doors of
education, home improvement, vegetable gardening, and training young people in
skills that can create job opportunities for them.
These beautiful people inspire me with hope once again. I see how it is possible to take one small
step into your field of influence and beyond into the corners of the world, and
lean the light of Christ into places of great need.To start seeing lights lit up all over the
place as we join spirit with the many people all over the world who also have a
heart to see the miracle of transforming love overcome the darkness.We agree with the heart of St Francis, that yes,
the darkness cannot extinguish the
light of even one small candle.And when
we light the flame of love, we will find around us the lights of many flames
and the flames when they burn together will show that love wins out over chaos
and tragedy every time.
Take some time to meditate on the Hope of the world - how
nothing takes God by surprise and how the light will always outshine the
darkness in our own hearts and lives and into the furthest reaches of the
world.How God reorients our hearts to His
compass of peace and gives us a God-view of events.
As we intercede for the people of this world, we will not
underestimate the power of our prayers, these humble prayers. When we are
rooted and established in Christ, we are moved to do what God calls us to do
and be who he calls us to be at such a time as this.We take hope in the coming of Christ.Again and again, He comes into the heart of
the world’s greatest need.And we know
that rebirth and resurrection are miracles He will continue to alight in the hearts
and lives of people, as He reminds us of the miracles of His birth, death, and
resurrection.Nothing can separate us
from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.And so we know and rely on the love of God.
As you listen to this spontaneous song, Open up let the light in by Bethel Music, allow the light of our Saviour to radiate through every situation in your life and every part of your heart. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5
(This chore in our house is something I have to "get around to doing". It is not something that fills me with anticipational excitement! This poem is about allowing myself the pleasure of living in the moment while doing the laundry, to allow it to become a contemplative act. The full stops between the stanzas allow for a pause and also indicate the time frames between the stages of laundry in my house - definitely not an all-in-one activity, but rather done through "stages of contemplation" :-) )
I remove wet laundry from the washing machine
Into my basket, I search for unseen socks
Lining the side of the barrel.
I carry the weighty basket up the passage
Through the kitchen and onto the outside bin.
Then I take the first garment
And choose where I want it to go.
.
All around me the garden is waiting to be heard,
Asking to be seen.
Every time I hang up my washing there is:
A mountain before me, trees, birds
Chickens cluck clucking, the sky and clouds of the day.
There is fragrance and colour, the whisper
Of a great yellow wood tree
And the invitation of the garden to be noticed.
.
I feel each garment, and peg, peg, peg
Peg up the laundry with my prayers.
.
I come back to it dry and take it down
Onebyonebyonebyonebyone draped over my
Great-bundle shoulder.
And I look and notice, look and notice.
I smell the fresh dry smell of the washing.
I take it to the bed and let it fall.
.
I fold, fold, fold
I feel the creases and press the garments.
.
I sort and organise, I pack into the cupboards
And breathe in the smell, breathe in the smell
Of the garments now packed away.
I feel the way the music
Forms my body into responsive acts of mercy
Mercy to my body looks like this:
No restriction, just listening all the way
Repeating the phrases, lifted arms, legs, hearts
All the way through the music
Into the dance.
I even forget where I am when I am taken so.
Every bit of box explodes off bit by royal bit
It was like everytime my feet gave an involuntary twitch
I knew I could never hold back into the pew ever again.
It was like every time I hear another note
My feet are going to leap into action
And my body is going to writhe and shake
And twist and level the ground!
The music is going to take me and my body
Into places no prayer could ever take me
In my mind.
This dancing body is going to surf the waves
Of every sound as the boxes pop, pop, pop
Off of every muscle, ligament and nerve
And the freedom searches out
The beat in me, and takes me into
Ever new territory of the music dance music
Ever new places to put on my dancing shoes
And feel it, think it, do it!
Fingerprints all very telling.
You can't get away from your
Snowflake uniqueness
Or the way no two dog's noses are the same.
You're one of a kind
Trying to fill that poor man's shoes
When he can fill his
One of a kind shoes much better.
The trick is to find out what
Your fingerprints are meant to
Stick all over.
Forensic science has got to
Pick up the essence of you
All over the place you
Assign your energy to.
You're a firework prism
Blasting black holes into galaxies.
Inventions of your own style
Creeping through your pores
Are self-lighting bulbs -
All those ideas need a place to roam.
So do it! Be yourself.
Spread your opinion out of the
Cage they tried to shun you into.
There is no cage big enough
Can hold the power in one original thought.
Your DNA plays music heard
Through no one else's veins.
It's a joyful abandon to settle back
Into the youness of you,
To feel the pleasurable zing
Of the skin you're wrapped in.
It's like, what's coming next?
No one else is going to see it the way you do.
You are one beautiful grow up upper
Filling the infinite space of you
With a great big YES,
Born-alive in the nowness of now.
Little did she know it,
The subtle glance
The not so subtle telling crease in the corner of the eye.
How much had changed,
And change came that time with the sting of a bee
Looking for nectar in the summer flowers.
Everything turned on its head
Did a cartwheel into the future, past, whichever
Direction, jumped on the trampoline
And laughed, what a laugh!
I have never heard such a laugh!
I expected something so different
And all I heard were tears and laughter
Tears and laughter.
All my creases welled up that day
It was sprinkling tears of rain, tears of rain
Into the light of a trampoline day
When everything turns on its head
And says, "What now?"
The sting of these summer days
Has wakened me up, to breathe
And simmer, breathe and simmer.
To let my mind climb up the tallest mountain,
Do a handstand
And accept the upside-downness of
Everything I've come to understand is life.
Birds flying down into the sky
With blood pumping in my brains -
And the rush you get when you get back up on your feet
And suddenly everything becomes crystal clear
And you know which way to go.
In quiet, quietness I hurl a stone
Into the water.
Still, the ripples
The ripples extend
As the stone sinks.
I wait at the shoreline
Until the water
Rests into a reflection
Of clouds, sky, clouds,
Until the water sleeps before me.
Until the water reflects
My body standing by the
Water, in silence.
An occasional breeze
Shimmers the surface,
But the deep is still
The deep is calm.
The stone is on the bottom
Together with the other stones
Anonymous, settled at the bottom
As though it has always been
There.
And yet quivering vibrations of
Unseen molecules within
This anonymous stone
All remember the picking up,
The being held, the moment
Of decision, the being hurled
Into the centre of these
Deep waters.
Rain, wind, snow, rivers, hail
And the water receives it all.
Evaporates a tranquil acceptance.
And after every storm,
The quiet, quietness.
The sun warms the hairs on the back of my neck
And my closed eyes glow red with the lids.
My brain suffused with this light
Calls the seeds of my thoughts to dance out of their pods
And grow, grow, grow.
Into the present I am able to fly
With the wings Sophia calls, When-am-I-going-to-be-able-to-fly
Only-in-Heaven wings.
The sun glows through my fingers pink red orange,
The light does this to my blood
Makes it look like a Japanese lantern.
I am alive
It is the present.
My breath rises and falls like the wind
What it does to the wheat fields pulsing.
My breath does the same, then I feel my heart
And the blood that pumps through those ventricles.
I am alive
In the present.
Everything they told me at school
Was to prepare for my future and make sure
I make enough money to live, eat, sleep, succeed, rise to the top.
But they didn't tell me I would find the meaning of life
In being alive,
To the present.
In the blood that is God's, beating through my veins
In the breath, blood, breath of my body,
Alive to the moment,
Present.
All of these colours, I see them
As I reach into a nest with my eyes
And feel the bird of tomorrow
Wrapped in an egg shell,
Fly through my mind.
And I find myself in the memory
Of a ripe womb and tiny legs
Pushing for relationship
With the outside world.
Not ready for it yet.
Then my fingers fumble for the
Pieces of a great puzzle I did years ago,
While listening to The Hobbit on audiotape.
So many blue, white, green pieces -
It took forever to see
The bigger picture.
And I think about all that happens
In eggs, wombs and unfinished puzzles
And enjoy imagining myself discovering that
The destination is not somewhere out there.
But actually here, in the nest with bird's eggs,
Actually there in the ripening womb
Yes, and groping for pieces of a great puzzle,
I find the destination is not time-bound.
It is the moment you are reading this,
The destination is now.
He came to us in a dream last night,
We were walking in the monastery forest
And he passed us by
As the fragrant air caught us in the nostrils.
He turned and asked, "Have you got some?"
Then he offered us what he had in his hands
From his livelihood, with humble generosity.
It was the perfume he made from the pine sap
He drew from the healing trees.
The monk made this into fine perfumes
For regenerating human beings.
The strong pine sap lingered at his fingertip offering
As we said, "No, we haven't."
"I will get you some," he said.
No expectation of us, this monk of honey bees, nectar
Pine sap and healing ointments.
This monk of benediction in the monastery forest
Offered kindness, welcome, quiet gifts of himself.
I am beyond the mountain now
No more round and round for me.
Lord, it was too alluring to think
I could get somewhere by going nowhere.
I stepped away from the same old same old
And found myself a pilgrim in your arms.
People have become strangers of grace
Born into flesh with eyes mounted in souls
Looking into my eyes,
And greeting us silently.
I have a palm in front of me, holding nothing but hope.
I have a palm beside me, holding nothing but your hand.
Lord you are wise beyond your years,
I know your laugh from deep within
Is an earthquake to my old ways of doing and thinking.
And as the ground of my yesterlife crackcrumbles around me
I am finding your heart is a field with no fences.
I am looking and seeing with my deeper eyes.
I am hearing your voice packaged in many voices
All singing.
The
road of you leads ever onwards. Spirit
of my temple, I have not arrived in you, I
have begun to be birthed. Some
of me has passed away To
make space for your great furnace.
I
have found the pleasure of ever unfoldingness.
The
discovery of heart that grows large large larger in the dark and in the light.
I
have found not arrival, but rather departure... into new realms of your Being.
The wings have been
Growing on me now
For quite some time.
Feathers look foreign to me still,... But I have become more familiar As they've spanned out Over the years. And lately, even a slight updraft
Sends these wings trembling
For the sky. I think I could be ready
To try them out soon. My heart rises in the mist.
My journey so far, has led me to new places of grace where I find myself drinking from unexpected wells and getting that "eyebrow rise with a smile surprise" each time I come across a new experience of finding and knowing God.
I have included a list of Favourite Links incorporating many of these gifts which have come to me recently - you can find these as you scroll down on the left. But I would like to mention a particular few of them here:
Pray as you Go http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/home/ is a daily podcast with music, scripture and questions for reflection which has become a contemplative well of grace in my life. Each day a gift of music comes to you, from different worship expressions around the world, taking you straight into the heart of the moment. Scripture is read and questions are asked, so that you may slow down and reflect, discovering what God has to say to you. Quiet music is played while you think over and pray through the revelations which come in this time - a ten minute or so space of peace which sets the tone for any time of the day.
Abbey of the Arts http://abbeyofthearts.com/ is an online monastery encouraging a walk of contemplative life, as a spiritual monk or pilgrim in daily creative life. This very supportive atmosphere releases a spirit of creativity and an encouragement to explore ever deeper in your relationship with God and yourself in community with others.
I have discovered music available at the touch of a button on Tunein Radio, where you can search for the music you like and set up a profile of your favourites. I have found some wonderful calming music for sleep or for accompanying times of prayer and reflection. Sleepscapes - Rain is one of these: http://tunein.com/radio/Sleepscapes--Rain-s237131/ and my favourite Abacus fm Nature Radio: http://abacusfmnature.radio.net/. But there are so many to choose from!
The Cloud of Unknowing was written anonymously by a 14th century author, for monks. But this Mom is benefitting alongside of many other pilgrims in prayer.
I take hold of that cloud and delve in. The Cloud of Unknowing is where you come to Father God. It is simple, because you don't have to have an image of God in your mind. You come to him in a great cloud and direct all of your love into his presence. You approach him as the unseen God. All of your anxious thoughts and distractions, you place them under a "cloud of forgetting". Then using a word that captures the essence of your prayer, you direct your word into the cloud and open yourself to however God desires to reveal himself. "One little gasp contains the height, depth, width, and breadth of the spirit." (The Cloud of Unknowing edited by Bernard Bangley)
This is a way for me to pursue relationship with Abba God, which has often not come very naturally to me. I more often come to Jesus in prayer. But I love being opened to the mystery of the fullness of the Godhead. And when you take all pressure off of yourself to try and imagine or picture what God looks like, you are presenting yourself to God, as he is. It provides a spacious place to get to know him without preconceived ideas about what he is like. What we think Father God is like can sometimes block us from who he truly is, and who he wants to be for us.
So I take a word, LOVE, and I direct it into the cloud. Over and again, this simple prayer, LOVE. Or, TRUST. Many words don't have a place here. It is simple devotion to the heart of God from your heart. And then you find yourself in the presence, and in the presence of God, his mystery beckons you to deeper places with him. And then you start to feel his heart and receive from him. You are open to whatever he wants to share with you in this great cloud of his presence.
Ever since I don't know, I have been drawn to prayer and the rest of Jesus. But when you are a Mom of three little kiddies under the age of 5, you sometimes wonder how you are ever going to find the time? Real time to spend with Jesus. Like not groggy waking up, forcing open the eyelids after a night of up and down to spend 10 minutes in the word kind of time - on a good day! Like not closing your eyes for a few moments getting a prayer in edge-ways only to be asked, "Mommy, why are your eyes closed?"
I am sure that God meant for us to experience his presence in the day to day of life. And I am sure that he is so creative he can come up with a great variety of ways to know relationship with him and that it doesn't always have to look like the traditional version of what "Quiet Time" brings to mind. Waking up early, quiet space to spend time uninterrupted with your Saviour? Uninterrupted is a rare beautiful thing in my life at the moment. Hence the desire to open up a blog discussion on prayer for the busy ones. Prayer for the run-around-in-the-rat-race but longing-for-Jesus children. So I am going to do a series on the exploration of prayer and I welcome all your input. Every one of your - this is how I do it stories. All of your ways you find to "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
For starters, I open up with the Secret Garden:
I have been given an ornate and antique key. I hold it around my neck. There is a secret garden that is for me alone to access. The door is covered with creepers, but I lift the creepers and unlock the door, turn the handle, and... I'm in. Jesus is always waiting for me. The garden is eternal, because it holds the past, present and future of my walk with God. I sit on a bench next to Jesus and we hold each other's hands and look into each other's faces. There is so much to be said without saying a word. Sometimes I kneel before him with my head in his lap and pour out my tears, concerns and sorrows. Other times we go for a walk and he shows me what is growing, what is being pruned, cut, weeded, what is being sown. There is intimacy as we walk hand in hand. There is sharing, heart to heart.
